am safe in LA (hurray!) where, last night, my friend anthony and i were discussing my enchantress-like tendencies. i have this pattern where men become enamored with me rather quickly; they come sprinting out onto the tightrope of my life, marvel at the view, the thrill, their eyes are widened, their souls are opened, but it's as if they panic the minute they look down and quickly run right back to wherever they came from; whomever they started as.
anthony suggested that to thwart this problem, i have two options -
1) i can act like a different person for a while, gradually letting my real-self emerge... so being in my presence is a little more like boiling a lobster rather than just throwing someone into the deep-end that is me.
2) i should warn them. "tell men: you're going to feel very comfortable with me very quickly, and you're going to have experiences with me that will blow your mind, but very soon you're going to get scared and run away." he says, "at least then you cautioned them about who you are, and they may fight hard just to try and prove you wrong."
#1 seems an impossible and likely fruitless waste of energy and #2 seems a little haughty and odd and presumptuous - like, "i know you just met me, but trust me, you're going to fall hard and fast, and you're going to feel transformed, but this won't be sustainable, so you'll duck out at the first exit, yet remain infatuated with me until your dying day."
then again, it may quickly root out the ones with a real stomach for the risk.
what do you think?
Photo is from the infamous Annie Leibovitz "Alice in Wonderland" Vogue shoot.